Rainy Days and Mondays

You know it's bad when Karen and Richard Carpenter become the soundtrack to your day. It's a rainy day, it's Monday and while they don't always get me down, it did this time.

I put off running till the evening. We know from bitter experience that that's not a good thing. My legs were very swollen, and to compound my discomfort, I argued with myself from one end of the Williamsburg Bridge to the other about the wisdom of doing a marathon at all. Maddeningly, I lost the argument.

I really don't know if this is such a good idea. This isn't just a mood talking. I have to be realistic about what my legs can handle. Or am I selling myself short? A marathon is a test of physical limits. Am I any different? I expect to be miserable at times on race day as will other runners for many different reasons. Is this about physical limits or mental limits or both?

I can't tell if brute force and determination will get me through this. So far I've convinced myself that if I decide to do it, then I will do it. I will find a way and, in doing so, maybe I will also find a new way to feel about my legs. That's all well and good in the abstract, but there's still the physical reality to contend with. It cannot be denied.

I was running along thinking about my wardrobe malfunction in Lake Tahoe. My legs were so swollen after 100 miles on my bike that I struggled to pull my pants above my knees. I couldn't shove my feet into my shoes. I couldn't leave my hotel room because I didn't have anything else to wear. I have to admit it felt pretty bad. I took to the tub for a soak and just kept my legs up for as long as I could. I practically missed the victory dinner, but I didn't have a choice. I couldn't go bottomless and barefoot. Note to self: Pack thongs and realistic post-race clothing.

When I've run in the morning, I've been pleasantly surprised that my legs have held up well. There is hope. I haven't been encumbered by what I call washer woman knees, which is when no knees are discernable. Then again the longest run I've done thus far was 2 hours. I'll probably be nearly tripling that on race day. I imagine my legs feeling the way they do now, as I write this, and I just want to scream. I'm frustrated by a lot of things and I'm feeling it all through my legs. What else accounts for this mood? Well, eating a lot of crap on Sunday tends to make me feel like crap on Monday. No surprises there.

Rain, Monday and blueness aside, I pumped out five miles and passed another important milestone. I have now run more than 100 miles.

CORRECTION: I went back to the maps to make sure I was calculating the miles properly and I subtracted .6 just to be on the safe side. 8.5 is my longest run to date, but I didn't quite break a 100 miles.

Today: 5.1
Miles to date: 99.6