May Day May Day

I've been running behind, as it were, with this blog. I sometimes jot down notes after a run and come back later to re-examine my ephiphanies in a clearer light. In that light, those thoughts are too banal for the light of day. Mostly, I just let it rip anyway. Mostly, I've been absorbed with other activities, including the old fundraiser, The Great Gotham Scavenger Hunt. I can't tell if I'm going to be pleasantly surprised or sorely disappointed. Efforts to get people to register have not been successful. I hope I raise some money and people have fun. That's the point. Gentle reader: sign up!

I've had a couple of fantastic runs over the last couple of days. Nothing beats running by the Hudson in gorgeous weather. I would have liked to run longer distances because once I get cranked up, I'm fairly happy. The training schedule confounds me. It seems like it would be good to mix in a 6 or 8 miler, even for us beginners. How are we ever going to be able to handle the abuse if we don't take more of it, I ASK YOU?! I like the longer distances. I'm an endurance person. I can handle a lot of pain over long periods of time; I'm used to it. It's all I've ever known. This foot pain, however, is a little different because I'm choosing it. Thus far I haven't found a way to alleviate it. I've been trying orthotics and other pads to deal with the old foot, but haven't found a silver bullet yet. I tire of the relentlessness of the pain just as I tire of the intractability of the lymphedema. It's unnerving in its persistence. Still we shlep along.

No doubt this is boring. I keep coming back to certain ideas. I want to give myself a break over the speed (or lack thereof) thing. I enjoyed my runs recently because I was taking it as it comes and my mind was occupied with positive thoughts. I'm not in a race against anyone, including myself. I have to acknowledge that having an extra 10% of my body weight all in my lower legs makes this running thing a little bit more difficult. The gradual accumulation of lymph throughout the run, around my knees in particular, adds to the challenge. I don't think it's possible for someone to appreciate the effect. There's no way for someone to run in my shoes. I suppose I feel a little bit defensive, as if someone may look and think, is that the best she can do? I have my own doubts and that's why it keeps coming up. Is it enough to "just do it"? Just getting it done and just doing it are two different things.

My mind is full of what I need to get done between now and Sunday, including preparing for a half marathon plus 4 miles on Saturday. Exciting stuff! More on that later. Don't know if I can squeeze in a swim, but it would be wonderful right about now.

Tuesday: 4.5
Yesterday: 5
Today: rest
Miles to date: 196.7