See Adrienne Run: Shuffling the Deck

What's All This Then?

Greetings!

This blog has run its course, as it were. Actually three courses, but don't let that stop you from reading. Here's the skinny: I dedicated most of 2008 to running and fundraising for cancer research. On June 1, I ran the San Diego Rock n' Rock marathon. On June 21 I ran a half marathon in Anchorage, Alaska. Both of these feats were tackled with the coaching and support of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, for which I raised $5,725. The final challenge was the New York City marathon on Nov. 2. This time I trained with "Fred's team" on behalf of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center where I was treated successfully for Hodgkins lymphoma five years ago. I raised another $3240 (maybe more).

It was a banner year in many ways. I celebrated 5 years of health. I raised a lot of money. I earned a Team in Training triple crown for completing a triathlon, century bike ride and marathon. I was featured on a show about three first time runners in the NYC marathon, aired on NBC in New York. And ....

You can read all about my journey in sneakers below. And remember:
"A journey of 26.2 miles begins with a single shlep."

(For the back story, check out the Sept. 29th entry.)

Monday, May 12, 2008

Shuffling the Deck

I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to do something without my brand of foot and/or leg pain. I can only imagine. I've been swinging between anger, frustration and depression coming off of Saturday's long haul that was at least an hour longer than it should have been. I'm not judging myself by other people's standards. I'm judging against my own. I want to know I gave it my all, and I know I didn't because I just couldn't get past my foot pain. I didn't want to stop. The only other alternative was quitting and that wasn't an option.

I'm a 44-year old novice runner with lungs damaged by chemo and radiation and primary lymphedema in both legs and feet. One foot has the added insult of scarring by the metatarsals from my battle with Verruca Sweetheart. That's who I am. What can I fairly expect from myself?

I've been on a mostly steady slide downward emotionally since the half marathon. I ran a half marathon for chrissake. I did something I never dreamed of doing. I set a goal and accomplished it. I wanted to run it in under 3 hours and I did. Still, it wasn't good enough. What more do I want from myself?

I'm seeing this marathon as a project through which I will confront who I am in a positive way. It's been a little rocky for the last couple of weeks. It's part of the process. I'm facing down the hand I was dealt. It's time to shuffle my deck.